"One laughed because one knew it would end well. One was surprised when it didn't." -Charles Simic, from The Monster Loves His Labyrinth

Ringing Bells

-Put that knife down.

-You put that gun away.

-Don’t point that thing at me.

-Get that thing out of my face.

-I’m warning you.

-I’ve done this sort of thing before.

-Really? This is my first time.

-Oh, really? You’re quite good at this sort of thing.

-Do you really think so?

-Yes, you seem like a natural so far.

-Well, I feel silly for bringing a knife to a gunfight.

-Are you kidding? I feel silly for bringing a gun to a knife fight.

-My name’s Steve.

-You never tell your name in this sort of thing.

-Well, it’s an alias, really.

-Oh! You are good.

-So, what happens now?

-I take you to a chicken dinner.

-Really? I haven’t got any money on me.

-You don’t carry your wallet with you?

-I didn’t think I was supposed to, at least for this sort of thing.

-Well, I’ll pay for you.

-You’re far too generous. I could never accept that sort of grace.

-Nonsense, I insist on buying you a chicken dinner. You’ll pay me back next time.

-Next time?

-This type of thing happens every week, everywhere over the world.

-There really is much that I don’t know about this sort of thing. Does it usually end with a chicken dinner?

-It always ends with a chicken dinner.