"And so we sat there for the next hour contemplating the life of the postmodern buffalo." -James Tate, from Return to the City of White Donkeys

Large Plants

I opened the drawer that has our kitchen utensils in it, and it was filled with bottle openers. I had been looking for a bottle opener all day, frustration building when I couldn’t find one. From the other room, Melissa called to me. Derrick, did you get the forks and knives she said. No, but I found a bottle opener I said. You can open your bottle now she said. Maybe later I said. Maybe after I go shoe shopping. I went to go put one of the bottle openers back, to find the drawer overflowing with brand new shoes. The bottle opener in my hand turned into a left foot running sneaker. Melissa called down to me from upstairs. When do you want to leave for shoe shopping she said. Never mind that, I have a new pair of shoes right here I said. When did you get them she said. Just now I said. I selected a pair of fine-looking brown loafers, and they fit perfectly to my foot. I sat down at the kitchen table, wiggling my toes in the cool newness of the shoes, staring at the drawer. Melissa hollered towards me again, this time it seemed from directly above me, or directly behind me. I couldn’t tell what part of the house would create an effect like this. Well, when were you planning on getting that replacement remote controller she said. Sometime today I said. My feet felt a bit cooler. The shoes were gone, and the drawer was filled with various sized and colored remote controllers. I picked out a bluish-grey medium-sized one, with the thought that it would sleek next to our blue couch, on the end table. Or, wait, never mind that again, I’ve got a sleek, new one right here I said. Melissa walked into the kitchen. Derrick, stop playing around, breakfast is getting cold, and all I asked was for you to get those forks and knives she said. She opened the drawer and got two forks and two knives, and walked out of the kitchen into the dining room, to the waiting breakfast. The remote control was gone. I opened the drawer and looked at the forks and knives, then set out to what I was going to do that day.