"You have to love people they are so much like ourselves." -Heather Christle, from The Seaside!

Door

A man kicked my door in, ran over to me, in my robe, eating my breakfast, and grabbed me by the shoulders. Hurry hurry hurry he cried. I spilt some of the milk from my cereal bowl onto my robe. Ah, my robe I said. You’re what the man said. Never mind that, you need to hurry, we need you now he said. I don’t understand I said. Are you Paul Weatherby the man said. Well, yes, I am I said. Come with me the man said, grabbing me by the arm and leading me out of my doorway and into the back of his van. In the van, there were a few other bleary eyed, robed people, all seemingly as confused as I was. There were donuts for us, and each of us got our very own large latte. Get comfortable the man said. Hey, what is this, anyway a man sitting next to me called out. You’re all contestants on the new hit game show the man said, laughing. I was familiar with it. It was always with robed, tired looking people, and the stock-looking host always asked them intensely personal questions about their mothers and fathers that they apparently spent lots of time researching. At the end of the show, the contestants were all partially violently furious, deeply embarrassed, and extremely depressed, the combination leaving them unable to move. Some were even carted off the stage. We looked at each other slowly, all of us in the back of the van, left to right, back and forth, all around, and none of us knew what to say, strangers to even ourselves.