"I ran away upstairs into my room and played the drums and used lots of cymbals and my ears rang." -Tao Lin, from You Are A Little Bit Happier

Whip

I bought dozens of dogs to roam my farmland, and, one by one, they started to get struck by lightning. One was running on a hill during a storm, barking at the thunder when the lightning struck. Another was unwittingly standing under a large tree in the middle of the field. The third was in it’s own doghouse, when the lightning came through the small gap of a door. I decided to make the rest of the dogs housedogs, for fear of losing them all to the vicious lightning. This didn’t work. The lighting broke windows, picked the locks to the doors, came through the chimney. It was determined, for some reason. There was something about these dogs that the lightning just didn’t like. I began to feel afraid of the dogs, because a natural force simply couldn’t be wrong. I locked myself in my closet, and as soon as I did, my dogs began barking at the door, running into it, scratching it. They were rabid, hungry for flesh, and I prayed for another storm to roll in.