New Newborn

When you are born, you slip out of the doctor's hands and out the window. Oh, gee, I'm all thumbs today, he says. You land in a pile of leftover bloody latex gloves, splotching strawberry handprints all over your tiny body. You put on a pair for your hands, a pair for your feet. You walk into the nearest saloon and order a shot of whiskey and a beer. I'm sorry, we don't serve minors, the bartender says. You slap his face, leaving a bloody handprint. You jump on the bar and gnaw on his neck with your gummy mouth. You’re the new type of newborn, and your first screams sound like metal scratching different metal.